Would you accept me if you knew everything about me? Would you still be my friend if I show you the cantankerous parts me, my grumpy face, when I stew in anger, or when I need your reassurance? Romantic relationships are hard for me because of the level of intimacy required. I have plenty of acquaintances but very few friends. And my friends are incredible souls who love and accept me with all of the good and bad that come with knowing me, with knowing anyone. I don’t think I could have survived any part of this life without my best friends.
I have a hard time connecting with men on an emotional level. I was in an abusive relationship with my daughter’s father, and it scarred me. And it is far from my only scar. I leave my childhood for another time because it deserves an entire book. No, I don’t have a pattern of entering abusive relationships. Just the one. But I have history of exiting too quickly or not trusting enough, of not giving second changes, and of not sharing who I am with anyone let alone with a significant other. If you only knew how hard it is for me to share the stories behind my scars…
AT THE END OF ALL THINGS
The final issue of Planisphere Q is up! At such a poignant moment in my life. I’ve been through a lot of painful changes in the last few years, painful for me. A transformation leaving me feeling raw, my skin painful to touch, but also hope instead of the lack of hope, which dominated the last few years. I am hopeful, grateful, my head held high. I am more than okay. Here is the link to the flipbook as well. Print copies will be available soon.
Cyn B 